Parental Mental Health

Having a baby can be an exciting time, but often people have mixed emotions as they get used to the idea. Some people will feel happy and excited most of the time, but people will sometimes have times when they are feeling down in the dumps and stressed – this is all totally normal.

Lots of changes happen to the body during pregnancy, both physically for the pregnant person and mentally for both parents. There is a lot to think about and it’s important to take your time getting used to the idea.

It can also be hard for the pregnant person to ‘enjoy’ pregnancy, especially if they are feeling ill or experiencing a difficult pregnancy.

It can also feel like you need to know everything about being a parent, but this is not the case. You and your baby will learn from each other in the early days and all your baby needs is to feel loved and know they can rely on you.

Tips to help your mood

Try not to worry if you don’t feel as excited as you expect to straight away, everyone will adjust to the idea of becoming a parent at their own pace and here are some things you can try to help:

·        Whenever you can spend time relaxing and stroking the baby bump

·        Imagine what your baby will be like – this can help to build an early bond with your baby

·        Picture things you are looking forward to doing with your baby once they arrive

·        Take care of yourself; eat well, get regular exercise, and attend all your antenatal appointments

·        Practice relaxation techniques – these will help both parents now, during labour and when baby arrives  

Talking and singing to your baby while they’re still in the womb can also help both parents begin to build a lasting bond and help you feel a stronger connection which in turn can help you feel more positive and lift your mood.

Your unborn baby will also learn to recognise and remember these important voices once born.

Where can you get help?

Talk to your midwife, health visitor, or GP if you are struggling to have positive feelings about your unborn baby or worried about how you are feeling. It’s important to seek help as soon as possible if you think you might be depressed.

Worcestershire Perinatal Mental Health Service helps women a risk of developing or experiencing moderate to server mental health difficulties during pregnancy and during the year following childbirth. You can be referred to the service by any health and social care professional such as your GP, Obstetrician, Midwife or Health Visitor.

The transition to parenthood is a significant change in a person’s life and it is more common than you might think for mothers and partners to experience a range of emotions during this time. The majority of these difficulties resolve quickly, for instance, 50-80% of women experience baby blues at around 3-10 days after delivery and this comes and goes very quickly.

But some women may experience significant mental health difficulties during pregnancy or after birth, even if they have never experienced mental health difficulties before. These women may need support from specialist services such as the  Perinatal Mental Health Service (Worcestershire) .

Becoming a dad is also an exciting time, but it’s not unusual for dads to struggle too.  You might feel like you have to be strong for your partner, worry what others might think or that your feelings aren’t as important. The Health Visiting team are not just available to support mum and baby, but dad’s too. So please reach out for support if you are struggling and would benefit from a little extra help.

 DadPad

DadPad is free online information pack developed by dads for dads; helping fathers across Herefordshire and Worcestershire prepare for family life and tackles the mental health issues which can affect new parents.

The app is available to download from App store or Google Play story and covers a range of topics, such as, breastfeeding support, awareness of mental health difficulties, the anxiety and frustrations that come with parenthood. As well as hands-on advice on nappy changing and surviving with no sleep! It aims to provide new fathers with guidance on how to develop the mind-set, confidence and practical skills needed to meet their baby’s physical and emotional needs.

Visit the DadPad website to download the app for free.

 Peanut

Peanut app was designed to help women at similar stages of life connect with each other. From fertility, pregnancy, motherhood through to menopause. Peanut provides a safe space for women to meet and find support. 

Visit the peanut website to download the app  

  MUSH 

MUSH is a free app created by NHS Innovation Accelerator to support new mums to build up a support network, seek advice and arrange meet-ups. 

Visit NHS Accelerator website to download the app for free

Where can you get help?

Talk to your midwife, health visitor, or GP if you are struggling to have positive feelings about your unborn baby or worried about how you are feeling. The NHS website offers lots of advice and resources on the different support available to you.

How you feel

Every baby is different and so is every parent! Try not to compare yourself, or your baby, with others. What works for one baby may not for another. The most important thing is getting to know what works for your baby, and your family. 

Skin-to-skin contact helps your baby to adjust to life outside the womb. It supports mums to start breastfeeding and helps parents to develop a close, loving relationship with their baby.

Spend time holding your baby so you get to know each other.

• Keep your baby close to you – most babies want to be held a lot as they get used to being out in the big world and establish feeding patterns. Enjoy these cuddles you will not ‘spoil’ your baby. Knowing you are close by and respond to their needs will help them learn they can rely on you. It will help your baby feel safe and secure.
• Have their Moses basket/crib/pram close to you. This is an important part of safer sleep advice too.

It’s great to have visitors and to show off your new baby. Remember it’s ok to ask people to come for a short time or not at all. You need time to settle into being a parent and that’s difficult to do if your house is always full of other people.

Find out how to cope if you feel stressed with the demands of a new baby. There are support services for new parents that may help.

You may feel a bit down, tearful or anxious in the first week after giving birth. This is normal.

If these feelings start later or last for more than 2 weeks after giving birth, it could be a sign of postnatal depression. Postnatal depression and anxiety are common, and there is treatment. Speak to your midwife, GP or health visitor as soon as possible if you think you might be depressed or anxious, they may put you in touch with specialist services such as the Worcestershire Perinatal Mental Health Service.

Where can you get help?

Talk to your midwife, health visitor, or GP if you are struggling to have positive feelings about your unborn baby or worried about how you are feeling. The NHS website offers lots of advice and resources on the different support available to you. 

Other support

• Starting Well Partnership - Telephone Advisory Service (TAS).
• Register to access the FREE Online Parenting course called ‘Understanding your baby’ which is for everyone around a new baby: supporting you and the new arrival from birth to 12 months.
• The BBC/CBeebies website has some great tips and advice for managing your mental health as a new parent.
• Worcestershire Talking Therapies -  Local NHS mental health support for feelings of stress, anxiety or low mood.

Crying is part of a baby’s language. Crying is normal but can be hard to cope with. Lots of babies don’t cry very much in the first few days after birth so it can feel a shock when the crying increases. 

When your baby cries a lot it can be very stressful and may make you feel lonely. This might also knock your confidence, but it is important to remember that all babies cry and it is OK to walk away if you have checked that baby is safe and come back after a few minutes when you are feeling calmer.

Baby crying facts

• Most babies will cry more often from 2 weeks old and cry most when they are around 6 - 8 weeks old
• All babies are different and some babies carry on crying more than others.
• Babies can cry for different reasons like when they are hungry, wet or dirty.
• Comforting methods can sometimes help to soothe your baby.
• You are not doing anything wrong and neither is your baby. It is a stage they are working through and it will pass.
• Sometimes babies cry a lot because they are unwell. If you are worried your baby might be ill you should seek medical advice. There is always someone to ask 24/7. You can call your GP or speak to NHS111 online or by calling 111.

Be careful to always handle your baby gently, never shake them. Some parents and carers have shaken their babies whilst feeling very stressed and babies have sadly been badly injured or died. It is very important to take a break when you need to.

Where can you get help?

Talk to your midwife, health visitor, or GP if you are struggling to have positive feelings about your unborn baby or worried about how you are feeling. The NHS website offers lots of advice and resources on the different support available to you.

For some more information about soothing crying babies visit the NHS website.